My First Week Experience at New Apartment

I’ve been very busy with the new apartment, and now I’ve finally had time to work on a new blog post! ^^ I am 20 years old and on the Autism Spectrum, and this month I moved out of my parents’ home for the first time and living independently. I now pay my own bills, decide when to do chores, and do my own grocery shopping. This isn’t very common for people who have ASD like me. I am very grateful that I am now experiencing this. This milestone makes me believe that anyone who has Aspergers, Autism, ASD, or whatever you wanna call it, can achieve this. My timing isn’t the same as most NTs, and I think that’s okay. I believe it’s wrong to put into people’s heads that there’s a “right time” to move out, go to college, date, have a family, etc. Everyone is unique and, in many ways, that’s the way it should be. I have now officially spent my first full week at my new apartment, and I thought now is the right time to make a blog post about it.

I wanna start off with the pros of living on your own.

#1 – Independence

It is so freeing to not have to abide by the conditions my parents put in place for me to live at their home as an adult. One thing that really bothered me was chores. I had to get them done at a certain time before doing anything else. Many times I would experience sensory overwhelm from work, go home, and just wanna rest and not be able to do that right away. I agree that as their adult child living in their home, I should contribute to cleaning up the house. What I didn’t like was being yelled at whenever I failed to do that. My logic for when to clean conflicted with theirs, and it led to several arguments between us. I often didn’t feel like the adult that I was because I was being told what to do as if I was still under their authority.

When you’re an adult and still living with your parents, they should let you make your own decisions. I think my parents did that okay. They taught me that an adult should be free to exercise independence. It’s not just healthy, but also their lawful American right as well. However, since you’re still living under their roof, you still have to abide by their house rules and make contributions. One rule that I had to abide by was to not swear in the home with my youngest sibling in the room. I felt upset that I couldn’t speak the way I wanted to in this way. She knew this rule, and would report me all the time whenever I let a cuss word slip. It bothered me so much. Now that I live alone, I don’t have to worry about being “tattled” on.

It is so freeing to make your own house rules and abide by your OWN schedule and standards. Being able to abide by boundaries that YOU put in place and not someone else feels great! I believe that it is healthy to do this, especially for the long-term. The earlier you exercise independence, the better prepared you’ll be in the future for things like a long-term career, having a family, etc. I believe the longer a controlling parent delays an adolescent’s or young adult’s freedom, the more it hinders their ability to manage their own life when mom and dad are no longer around. Being 5 years old and told what to do is one thing; being 2 years away from adulthood (16 years old) and having every decision made for you is another. Even 5 year olds need freedom in some ways, like being able to choose what to wear. I’ve only had a week to experience this type of independence, but there has definitely been a difference right away.

#2 – Pride

When I say pride here, I’m not talking about the kind of pride where you think you’re better than everyone else. I’m talking the kind of pride that comes from a sense of good accomplishment. As a person on the spectrum who is constantly told by statistics that I can’t be independent, I feel proud that I have defied the odds. I don’t think I’m bragging when I say this. I definitely had people help get me here. I also gotta thank God for blessing me with a job, wisdom, resources, and other opportunities to get to where I am now. I definitely couldn’t get here completely on my own or even in my own strength. But I’m definitely gonna say “In your face!” to statistics that people use to limit people like me. Not so much because I’m capable, but because God is!

#3 – Relief

Living on my own gives me hope. I feel hopeful that I can accomplish the things I want to accomplish, like making my own successful TV shows in the future. I believe that that can even happen in the very near future with enough hard work and wisdom. I know what it’s like to feel trapped under your parents’ roof. Many people will even put you down for living with your parents. This has happened to me. It feels awful! I don’t think anyone should have that sort of attitude. It’s destructive. I feel relief that good things like this can happen to me. I can now say it has.

#4 – Faith in God

You can have faith in God no matter what your circumstance is. Heck, I still leaned on Him even when I didn’t think I’d ever move out soon enough. I don’t wanna downplay having faith in God when circumstances seem hopeless. Everything WILL get better. That’s a PROMISE. For me, in the present, things have now gotten better in this particular aspect of my life (independent living). I didn’t know it would happen so quick. I remember worrying so much about not even living independently ever, even within the recent months prior to signing my lease. This good harvest of independent living has strengthened my faith in God in a way that hasn’t happened before ❤

Now here have been some cons of living on my own that has happened:

#1 – Roommate miscommunication

There has definitely been a few moments of frustration between me and my roommate. One thing is cleaning the apartment and running errands for it. She likes to clean up her mess right away after she’s finished with what she’s doing. I like to clean up later. This has led to some frustration between us. For awhile, she seemed so salty towards me and I didn’t even know why, even though I would ask. She eventually told me that one of the things was that she didn’t like that I wouldn’t always clean my mess right away. It’s not that I never clean at all, it’s just she felt like she was doing more stuff than I was. I think the problem is that we haven’t been communicating how we want to share our workload for our home. We knew we were gonna split the house work, but we didn’t have any clear picture on what that would look like. My roommate and I did talk about clear ways we can split the house work, and we’ve come to agreements now. In fact, today I told her I would clean up my mess right away so she wouldn’t have to come home from work to see it. Sometimes you just gotta compromise for the other person. It’s courteous.

I believe this con is something that can definitely be something that can be handled in a smooth manner when it happens between two mature adults living together. It doesn’t have to be frequent. My roommate and I have made some mistakes, but I believe things will improve for the better. It already has. After all, it’s only been a week. When you choose a roommate, make sure they have a good work ethic, can talk maturely about your guys’ differences, and be open to change for the other person willingly. If you have a stubborn roommate who is a slob, you’re gonna have a bad time. Be wise and remember that love will overlook many mistakes. Overlooking wrongs is part of what will lead to seeing rights.

#2 – Money Mistakes

During my first week at my new apartment, I worked overtime at my new job (Amazon). I pack boxes full-time there, and this week was Prime week, meaning 9 1/2 hours of mandatory overtime. I’ve been getting good paychecks from Amazon since working there this month. Definitely sufficient income for affording this apartment. During my day off after Prime Week, I spent a LOT of money. I wasn’t so worried because I knew I made good money from Prime Week. Today I look at my bank account, and it was NOT what I expected. I spent so much more money than I thought. It’s not like I spent everything, but I definitely over-did it. I started to feel guilty because a good chunk of what I spent were on things I didn’t need. Yes, I spent some stuff on essentials (such as a broom and dustpan), but there were some things I got that weren’t needed. I justified my spending because of how hard and long I worked. I am easy on myself because this has only been my first month of living in a new place. I needed to remind myself that I’m okay. Now, if I continue making careless mistakes like this down the road, I would be more ashamed, but it’s important to give yourself grace ❤ It’s good to save up enough money to cover unexpected expenses before living on your own.

Some other things about having an apartment:

Another thing about living in your own place is work. You must have a job before living independently. You need a steady source of income, and one that pays sufficiently. My current income is more than enough. I also have a roommate, which makes rent much easier. My advice to other Autistic adults like me is to get a job. I know, it’s many times challenging for people like us. There are so many things employers look for in an employee that we, honestly, aren’t exactly wired to be natural at. Most jobs require some sort of social expectations. Before Amazon, I had two fast food jobs and one job in a school kitchen. Lemme tell ya, those jobs were chalk-full of expectations I didn’t know how to exactly follow. I even got fired from my first job. I had to learn and adapt to things that weren’t built into me. But let me tell ya, it’s worth it! It took hard work, patience, and lots of learning, but I finally was able to get to where I am now because of these experiences.

The last thing I wanna talk about is transportation. Most people with ASD can’t drive. I’m one of them. Yes, even though I live on my own, I don’t have a car nor license. However, I get to where I wanna go through two things: Uber and buses. Uber is definitely more convenient, but not something that’s wise to use for daily transportation. I usually try to use it only 1-3 times per week. I use it on Saturdays to get to work because the bus doesn’t run until 9am (I need to be to work by 7:30am). To get to work, I use the bus, which is much more affordable (but takes longer). Transportation is something you really gotta think about before living on your own. Make sure it’s reliable. My methods of transportation are reliable enough, but there are cons to not having a license. It’s possible to live alone without one, but it comes with challenges. I also must be at the bus stops at certain times, so it’s not like I can hop on a bus whenever and wherever I want. You gotta memorize bus routes, bus stop locations, and the times the bus arrives at those locations.

So those are things I wanted to share about my experience at my new place. It’s been a great experience so far. The good definitely outweighs the bad.

The table where I do my art and use my laptop.

There’s an anime store near my home that I walked to. I got stuff from there to decorate my new room ^^

My Vision: Possible Experience

I just want to let you all know that this blog post will be a longish read. There is just so much to say and I will do my best to summarize my experience. I want to express how much I appreciate the conference, some of the things discussed at the conference, and how it strengthened my faith in Jesus.

One night, I was upset with my parents because I felt like they were not supporting my vision, which is to be a TV show and movie creator. I didn’t feel their support for a number of reasons that I won’t get into. I expressed my frustration with what I perceived as a lack of support, and it led to a conversation that left me feeling hopeless. I prayed to God that He would give me direction. I was so unsure of what my next steps needed to be. I wasn’t even in college (and still not).

Hours later, I’m browsing Facebook. I’m FB friends with a few people I liked in the animation industry. I don’t know these people personally, but I was friends with them as a fan. I come across a post by Butch Hartman, the creator of The Fairly OddParents and Danny Phantom, two cartoons I loved watching when I was younger (heck, they’re both still entertaining in my opinion as someone in my 20s). His post was about a conference being held near the Chicago area called Vision: Possible. It is about taking the next steps towards achieving your dreams.

I saw this post in my Facebook feed on October 7th, 2018.

I was blown away. God answered my prayer so fast and in such an obvious way! I had no clue about Vision: Possible until literally an hour or so asking Him to show me what I need to do. In fact, this was Vision: Possible’s FIRST conference (there’s been 5 more since then). After doing some more research, I felt I had to take advantage of this opportunity. Chicago is so close to where I live and I had friends in Illinois who lived even closer.

After deciding to purchase admission to the conference, I immediately thought of my best friend Maisie Merlock. She is an aspiring and ambitious actress who has been in commercials, short films, and other things. One of her best roles was in a TV show called Chicago Med, where she guest stars as a patient in the episode 8 of season 1. We’ve known each other since high school and is one of my closest friends. She is such a cool and creative person. If you want to support her, consider following her Instagram @ maisie_merlock and her Facebook page Maisie Merlock.

A scene from the Chicago: Med episode Maisie appears in.

Maisie agreed to come with me to the conference, and it was a great experience for both of us. We both learned a lot of things. Before I get into what was said at the conference that taught us and changed us so much, I want to talk a little bit about the speakers who were there.

One of the speakers at the conference is Carly Hartman, who is also the oldest daughter of Butch Hartman, the Hollywood cartoonist I mentioned before. She has a YouTube channel too, and one video I was very entertained by is the one where she attempts to draw her dad’s characters. She has such an inspiring and beautiful heart. She is a very smart person, loves business, and is a gorgeous gal! She has a business profile on Instagram as a Network Marketing Coach @ carlyyhartman. She is 23 years old and is very successful.

Another speaker at the conference is a young man named Nathaniel Spiers. He has a great story about how he became a web designer. He is very intelligent. He was in a sticky situation that led him to needing to hire a lawyer as a teenager, and he did it through teaching himself web designing. His story on how he overcame his obstacles through the grace of God was just awesome! He loves God.

Another speaker at the conference is Julieann Hartman, the wife of Butch Hartman. I was very moved by her passion for God. She is fearless! She is passionate, sweet, and has a strong faith in God. Out of all the speakers I talked to her the most. I told her some tough stuff I was going through and she was so loving. She made me feel like I can overcome any challenge, even the challenges that come with my form of autism. At the conference, she felt the need to tell us that “If Julieann yells at you, she’s not mad at you, she loves you!”

Lastly, the other speaker at the conference is Butch Hartman. I grew up on his cartoons. I love his artwork and sense of humor. He has a huge inspiration in my own cartoons, both drawing wise and storytelling wise. He desires to glorify God through entertainment. I felt like I could relate to his passion because our interests are similar and both our pursuits are dedicated to God.

Left to right: Carly Hartman, Butch Hartman, Julieann Hartman, and Nathaniel Spiers.

Butch Hartman’s vision is to create an entertainment streaming site that is called Oaxis. His mission is to provide quality family-friendly entertainment. Everything that will stream onto Oaxis are shows and movies that have Christian values at the center. I get monthly updates through email, and I am very excited by Oaxis’s progress each time. You can get monthly updates through email, too, by signing up for it at their website here: https://www.oaxis.tv/

Carly and Nathaniel were the first speakers to talk on Day 1 of the conference. They talked about not knowing how to get to where they wanted to go and not even knowing what they were doing at first when they started their businesses. This was so encouraging for me as someone who was in the same boat. Since then, I’ve been looking into opportunities to get closer to my vision using the resources I already have, but hearing about how they began their vision journeys made me feel like I could achieve my vision, too.

On Day 1, the speakers used Romans 12 as a key passage in the Bible that many of principles that would be taught at the conference would come from. It stressed the importance of renewing your mind with the Word of God and living out our salvation during our vision journeys. These verses would be referred back to several times throughout the conference, each time being totally relevant. One person who attended the conference praised the speakers for using Bible verses during the conference. He talked about how many Christian conferences don’t actually use Bible verses while discussing the topic of business. He loved that they applied verses to the steps they were teaching. Vision: Possible is the only conference I’ve ever been to, but I just couldn’t believe that Christian conferences would leave out Bible verses when it focused on “secular” things like business. The speakers made it so clear that Christianity has a place in the marketplace. In fact, it is Biblical. I wholeheartedly agree with this. Jesus was a carpenter, after all. Some of His disciples were fishermen, too.

One thing Butch Hartman talked about at the conference was something called an “Elevator Pitch.” The concept is to imagine yourself stuck in an elevator with a famous director for 30 seconds (the example Butch used was Steven Spielberg). The goal is to summarize your vision and its heart in a clear and summarized way, all in a matter of 30 seconds. We even did our own elevator pitches in groups at the conference. The goal is to express your idea and make it sellable in half a minute. Immediately, I wanted to practice making my own elevator pitch and pitch it to Butch Hartman before the end of the conference. On Day 2, I asked him if I could do this during lunchtime, and he said yes, but later. I was nervous at first that it wasn’t going to happen, but spoiler alert: it did happen. And in an unexpected way that I’ll tell you later.

Throughout the conference I took notes in a notepad the conference provided for us. I did my best to note the most key things, especially the ones that stood out to me (I’m not very confident in my note-taking abilities, since I’m tempted to basically write a manuscript of everything that’s being said). Here are 2 pictures:

I don’t want to get into the specific teachings at the conference. I wouldn’t wanna risk plagiarizing the speakers’ words. However, I will mention some of the things they talk about. They go into things like explaining the importance of networking and how to do it, motivate you to overcome your fears that get in the way of your vision (this was a BIG one for me), the preparation and execution phases of an idea, how to clarify your visions to yourself and others, and so much more! They do it in such a way that I, who is not familiar with the world of business and marketing, can understand. If you do not know where to start, but are passionate about your vision, then this conference is for YOU! It’s motivational, spiritual, packed with wisdom and advice, and so much more.

There is a Facebook page with weekly live videos that conference attenders can view. Butch and Julieann, as well as guests on occasion, will continue giving advice and encouragement. Not only that, they will also ask about your progress. In the live chat, you can ask questions, give brief updates on your vision, and share the glory of God. The page makes me feel like that I am still part of the Vision: Possible family (yes, they call it a family, and I agree). I feel like I’m apart of something bigger than myself. I felt so much purpose from this conference, and the Facebook page helps. I listen to their videos when I can.

At the conference, you can purchase a USB containing audio files of the conference that you can listen to whenever you want. Now, I had to get the audio files through email. Before the speakers can perfect the audio, the 2018 California fire happened, so it was delayed. Eventually, they just had to email the files instead. Either way, you can purchase audio of the conference to listen to after it’s over. I listen to the audio files from time to time, especially while cleaning. I want to praise the Lord right now for keeping the Hartmans’ house safe from the deadly fire! In faith, the family prayed over their home and believed God would protect their home. I know they will continue to bless others through their house.

I also want to mention the founder of The Hope Center, where the first conference was held. Her name is Nichole Marbach. She is a wonderful person who has been healed from Bipolar Disorder and emotional healing from a tragic past. She gave me wonderful gifts as well after the conference was over. They are so meaningful and precious to me.

I am still reading the book, and I highly recommend it based on what I’ve read so far.

By the end of the conference, the speakers, Nichole, and my best friend prayed over me. In short, I’m dealing with a lot of struggles because of things going on in my home. It was enough to put college on hold again and move out of the house with my sister. I’m happy that I’m moving out, but not all the reasons are positive. I remember telling Julieann about what I was dealing with at home and the challenges I was facing because of my Asperger Syndrome.

By the end of the conference, the speakers and Nichole prayed over anybody that needed specific prayer. We even prayed for a woman that was in a wheelchair for 25 years that she would be able to walk again. I’ve never seen anyone faith heal before, and I was afraid to watch. My faith was too weak to watch the speakers pray over someone who has been disabled for such a long time. I went into the bathroom, hoping that the prayer would be over by the time I got back.

When I finally returned, all the speakers asked if I was willing to be prayed over. My guess is that Julieann hinted to everyone that I had a situation that needed prayer while I was gone. Even though I was nervous, I let the speakers pray over me. The speakers, and my best friend Maisie, all laid their hands on me and prayed over my situation. After the prayer was over, I felt a pain that I’ve had for 6 years go away. It was incredible. I felt a courage and a hope I haven’t had before. Everyone at the conference prayed for me. I felt like people actually loved me, which is not a feeling many people with Aspergers feel often enough. When I was visibly nervous, two people from New York gave me shouts of encouragement. We talked earlier in the conference and they were such great people! They even looked at my drawings and gave feedback.

After the healing prayer was over, Butch Hartman looked at me and asked me to give my elevator pitch into the microphone. I was so nervous. My elevator pitch that I practiced for was such a quirky TV show idea. It was a comedy TV show. However, I somehow got the courage to tell him my vision, all within 30 seconds. He even made comments, and it felt good to hear from someone I looked up to for years. Someone I looked up to as both a Christian and a TV creator. He even got to look at some of my drawings afterward. At the very end, everyone got to be prayed over. It was so powerful.

Nichole and Julieann afterwards gave me and my friend some gifts to take home. One of the gifts Julieann gave me was a keychain from Hobby Lobby. It was of a mirror, and on the back it said, “Believe in the girl looking back at you.” She told me that this is something she felt God telling her to buy, but she didn’t know who it was for. She said when she met me and Maisie, she knew the keychains were going to be for us. I struggled with severe self-doubt, but when I read those words on the back of the mirror, it’s like God was the one speaking it to me, and I believe He was. Ever since, my self-doubts are less and less frequent. It still happens from time to time, but not as bad as it used to be. This is a message I wish for all you guys to believe in for yourselves: that you can do anything and know it to the point that you truly believe in yourself.

I recommend reading Butch and Julieann Hartman’s book Vision: Possible, which summarizes many of the points talked about in the conference. I’ve read the whole thing and it’s great! I reread it sometimes to refresh myself.

You can get this at Amazon for $12. It’s so worth it!

Here is the website for the wonderful conference: https://www.visionpossibleconference.com/ Here, you can see when and where the next one will be held.

One of my next steps I plan on taking is making a comic for Webtoon. I have one still in the works. I think it will be a great opportunity to network with creative people and promote my ideas. I think this will be a great opportunity to take advantage of while I wait for college (if that’s the direction the Lord decides to take me in the future). (Butch Hartman actually told me he thinks I would be good at comics ^^)

I believe in you guys! It’s why I started the channel and the blog. This conference strengthened the faith in my vision for you guys ❤